Do You Really Want to Change?
Plus: How To Do Great Work & Learn Skills Faster
Do You Really Want to Change?
A 6-minute investment to make you a better leader - In role. In life.
Hi, I’m Jason. I'm here to help you thrive mentally, physically, and emotionally through a powerful combination of science-based advice and coaching guidance.
Think of this as your weekly ‘cheat sheet’ to help you lead better and live better.
What’s coming up:
Prime Performance: This Week’s Best News, Views & Life-Hacks
The Prime Perspective: The 'Weakness' That Transformed Me
Lessons from the Arena: The Unspoken Leadership Contract
Be a Prime Mover: 1 Quote to Spark Change
Prime Performance: this week’s news, views and life hacks
🎞️ WATCH Learn Skills Faster
You know I’m a huge believer in the ‘explorer’ mindset, so when Huberman drops a special Essentials episode outlining practical tools for accelerating any motor skills progress, I’m there for it. Expect everything from visualization techniques through to how to structure learning sessions.
📖 READ How To Do Great Work
Confession: Paul Graham's masterful essay on doing great work isn’t new, but I was re-reading it (again!) this week and felt compelled to share it with you as it offers invaluable wisdom for any leaders striving for excellence. Graham emphasizes that curiosity is the driving force behind great work as it “will choose the field for you, get you to the frontier, cause you to notice the gaps in it, and drive you to explore them.” Truer words never spoken.
📻 LISTEN How Important Is Willpower?
I’m a huge fan of Dr Chris van Tulleken, the author of Ultra-Processed People, and it comes as no surprise that his new BBC podcast, What’s Up Docs?, is another example of world-class, practical advice applicable to ‘real-world’ situations. In the first episode, he and his twin brother and co-presenter Xand are joined by psychologist Kimberley Wilson to discuss willpower… and whether it even exists. Provocative for all the right reasons and will definitely make you question some of your preconceptions!
The Prime Perspective: Thoughts on Leadership and Growth
Do You Really Want to Change?
A provocation: Most of us don't actually want to change - we prefer familiar pain to unknown possibilities. So we invest energy managing the status quo rather than transforming it.
This is not me judging. I've been there (and will be again). It takes courage to make changes.
Many of us find ourselves caught in a cycle of aspiration without action - desiring transformation without truly embracing what that transformation requires.
When we look deeper at our relationship with change, we often discover competing priorities within ourselves. Part of us genuinely wants transformation, while another part is invested in maintaining stability.
What makes this pattern so persistent isn't laziness, lack of intelligence or lack of willpower. It's that our current state, even when uncomfortable, offers something deeply valuable: familiarity.
Think of your current situation like a worn comfort blanket - frayed and imperfect, but familiar. Part of you dreams of casting it off, but when the moment comes, you find yourself clinging to it rather than stepping into the unknown.
In my last role I was in pain, no question. However for a long time I opted for living with that pain because:
The familiarity of the work
My identity being too attached to my role and title
The fear of the unknown if I walked away
The status quo bias in our thinking leads us to irrationally favor existing conditions, even when alternatives would better serve our goals. We tend to overestimate the risks of change while underestimating its potential benefits.
So this inner conflict isn't just philosophical - it's practical. Change demands vulnerability, temporary incompetence, and navigating ambiguity. These experiences naturally trigger psychological protection mechanisms designed to keep us safe.
As coaches, I believe our role isn't to effect change directly. That agency should always belong to the individual in my opinion. Rather, our purpose is to help people understand their current status quo - their relationship with themselves and the external world. To explore questions together like:
What specific changes have you been considering ‘someday’ for more than six months?
What would you have to give up to make this change? (Control? Comfort? Identity?)
What benefits might you receive from maintaining the status quo?
These will help illuminate the gap between your stated intentions and actual behaviors, revealing the competing commitments that maintain the status quo.
If you recognize yourself in this pattern, you're not alone. The question becomes: what separates those who successfully transform from those who remain in comfortable ‘pain’?
Research points consistently to 3 factors:
Self-awareness about competing priorities - Understanding not just what you want to change, but what parts of you are invested in things staying the same
Environmental design over willpower - Creating systems that naturally lead to different behaviors, rather than relying on motivation
It’s hard to change on your own - Social support, momentum and incentives can all play a vital part.
The last one is often overlooked, partly because of the toxic myth that you should be strong enough to do it on your own. It’s not only nonsensical, it’s damaging, as it discourages you from leveraging some of your strongest resources.
I’ll tell you now that I wouldn’t have been able to step into the unknown this time last year if it wasn’t for the support of my wife. Her unwavering support was a transformational element.
The Path Forward
When you self-reflect you can start by asking yourself a single, honest question: do you actually want to change, or do you simply wish things were different?
There's no right or wrong answer here. Some discomforts aren't worth the disruption of change. But clarity about your true priorities eliminates the exhausting cycle of commitment and retreat that characterizes so many transformation attempts.
Most importantly, never forget the choice is yours.
Ready to explore this further? Message me at jason@theprimemovement.com
THE PRIME PERFORMANCE PROGRAM
the priority waitlist has now closed. Those of you who signed up will be personally contacted in the next few days.
Lessons from the Arena: Real Life Leadership Challenges
Every week, I'll share real challenges from coaching experiences, offering practical insights you can apply to your own leadership journey.
CHALLENGE:
"I'm leading a team that includes a genuinely talented individual who to date has delivered outstanding results. The problem? Their ambition is creating two issues:
They're constantly pushing for more responsibility and advancement, sometimes unrealistically.
They often prioritize personal achievement over team collaboration.
I really value them but their approach is creating tension in the team. How do I harness their talent without letting their ambition become disruptive?"
MY GUIDANCE:
This is a classic leadership dilemma that I've encountered repeatedly, both in my own experience and in coaching conversations. High performers with strong individual ambition can be tremendous assets, but they can also create significant team dynamics challenges if not properly guided.
First, recognize what you're dealing with: ambition and talent are powerful forces that can't (and shouldn't) be suppressed. Attempting to dampen down these qualities often backfires, either driving the person away or creating passive resistance that can be even more harmful to the team. Instead:
Create clear sight lines between individual and collective success
Show explicitly how team achievement will accelerate their personal growth. Many ambitious people haven't consciously made this connection. Help them understand that the ability to elevate an entire team is what separates good individual performers from future leaders.Provide development opportunities that require collaboration to succeed
Design challenges that can only be solved through genuine teamwork but that also allow their talents to shine. This creates positive reinforcement between their ambition and collaborative behavior.Have the direct conversation about impact
Ambitious people often respond well to candid feedback when it's framed as helping them achieve their goals. Try something along the lines of: "I see your potential to go far, which is why I need to share how certain behaviors are actually limiting your growth.” Make sure to be specific about what you’ve observed and its impact on others.Expand their definition of success
Many ambitious individuals have a narrow view of what advancement looks like. Introduce metrics around team elevation, mentorship, and collaborative problem-solving into their performance evaluation. What gets measured gets managed.Consider structured mentoring
Pair them with a senior leader who has successfully balanced personal ambition with organizational impact. Sometimes guidance is better received from someone who isn't their direct manager.
A provocation: if you're seeing resistance to this approach, ask yourself whether your organization genuinely rewards collaborative leadership or if your systems actually incentivize the very behaviors you're trying to change. Often what looks like a personal issue is actually a perfectly rational response to your existing reward structures. Just some food for thought…
Ready to take your leadership to the next level? Book a call by messaging me at jason@theprimemovement.com.
Be A Prime Mover: 1 Quote to Spark Change
“Finding your way in life is like unlocking the combination of a safe. You have to go forwards and backwards. Life is not a direct march from A to B. The twists and turns are progress, not regression. What feels like a setback in the moment is later revealed to have been part of the path all along. Each move was necessary to get to your end goal.”
— James Clear
Send this to a fellow leader - they'll thank you for it.
