The True Cost of Toxic Leadership: What England Rugby's Crisis Teaches Us All
Plus: Terminal cancer didn’t stop this 50-year-old man completing an IRONMAN triathlon.
The True Cost of Toxic Leadership: What England Rugby's Crisis Teaches Us All
Your 6-minute investment to get 1% better at life each week
Hi, I’m Jason. If you are a midlife man in a leadership role, I’ve created The Prime Movement for you. It’s a community for those of us who believe in the power of progress - mentally and physically. Dare to know. Dare to grow.
What’s coming up:
Prime Performance - This Week’s Best News, Views & Life-Hacks
The Prime Perspective - When Winning Isn't Winning: The Midlife Leader's Dilemma
Lessons from the Trenches - When Your Leadership Playbook Needs A Gen Z Update
Be a Prime Mover - Wisdom to Inspire Action
Prime Performance: this week’s news, views and life hacks
CELEBRATE!
The Prime Movement’s Chief Advisor has just become a dad!
I’ve said from day one that The Prime Movement is about building a community of like-minded men, so it felt perfectly natural to share my favourite news of the week, which is that TPM’s very own Dr Brendon Stubbs is now the proud father of Amilia Rose! Both mother and daughter are doing well and Dr Brendon had this to say:
“As a neuroscientist, I've studied the intricate dance of neurotransmitters and neural circuits for years, but experiencing fatherhood has transformed these concepts from data points into lived reality. I now see the dopaminergic reward system at work in my child's eyes lighting up at discovery, understand the oxytocin cascade that strengthens our bond during every interaction, and appreciate how neuroplasticity shapes both our brains as we grow together.”
“My expertise has given me a unique lens on parenting - optimizing my own circadian rhythms, stress response, and cognitive function isn't just theoretical anymore; it's the foundation that allows me to build secure attachment patterns and create an enriched environment for my child's developing brain.”
“The beauty of neuroscience is that it confirms what my heart already knows: every moment of presence and connection is literally reshaping our neural architecture, creating an intergenerational legacy of health and wellbeing.”
WATCH
Terminal cancer didn’t stop this 50-year-old man fulfilling his IRONMAN dream
When Jonathan Pascual, a 50-year-old California nurse, received a terminal cancer diagnosis in 2022 with a five-year survival estimate, he didn't retreat. He set his sights on one of the world's most brutal endurance challenges:
🏊 2.4-mile swim
🚲 112-mile bike ride
🏃 26.2-mile run
Fighting through chronic pain and breathing difficulties, Pascual conquered the 140.6-mile course in 16:12:46. His message hits hard for all of us fighting our own battles:
"Find your purpose and pursue it with everything you have. We are each capable of so much more than we know, especially when we're running for something bigger than ourselves."
Take 3 minutes. Watch this. Let it remind you that your challenges, whatever they may be, don't define your limits.
LISTEN
Remind yourself what really matters…
Fresh from hearing The New York Times’ best-selling author Ryan Holiday speak in London (full insights coming next week), I wanted to share a powerful episode of his Daily Stoic podcast that stopped me in my tracks. Holiday's conversation with grief and loss expert David Kessler offers profound insights from those facing their final moments - as midlife leaders, we often get lose sight of what really constitutes success, but Kessler's wisdom provides a stark reminder of what truly matters. In Holiday’s own words: “This was a hard-hitting episode that everyone would benefit from listening to.”
The Prime Perspective: Personal reflections on leadership and growth
When Winning Isn't Winning: The Midlife Leader's Dilemma
As midlife leaders, many of you have earned your stripes through results. But for me, the recent revelations around Eddie Jones' behavior when managing the England rugby team provide an opportunity for reflection on what leadership truly means.
This isn't just another sports controversy - it's a mirror for us all.
Let me set the scene for those who haven't been following this story. Multiple England players have recently gone public about the culture of fear and intimidation they experienced during Eddie Jones's time as Head Coach. What troubles me most isn't just the allegations themselves - it's watching people rush to defend his methods simply because of his win rate.
Here's the thing about winning - it can mask a multitude of sins. When you have a group of players as gifted as England did during Jones's tenure, the real question isn't whether results were achieved, but at what human cost they were delivered. Could the same - or better - outcomes have been reached without creating a culture of fear?
I need to be honest with you here. This hits close to home because I've been there. Not as the leader, but as someone who witnessed similar dynamics once and stayed silent. The fear of career implications, the organizational hierarchy, the whispers of "that's just how things work" - they all led me to rationalize behavior I knew was wrong. That weight of complicity still sits heavy on me to this day.
As the brilliant author Matthew Syed perfectly puts it: "Silence in the face of toxic leadership isn't neutral. It's complicity."
Now, I know what some of you are thinking - what about Alex Ferguson's famous 'hairdryer treatment'? Weren't many great leaders known for their fierce approach? The difference is nuance. Leaders like Ferguson balanced their demanding moments with genuine empathy and care for their people's development. They knew when to push and when to protect. What we're seeing in the Jones saga appears to be something altogether different - a persistent culture of fear without the counterbalance of nurture.
And crucially, there is another way. My good friend Nick Craig Waller coaches the under-13s team at Bath Rugby, one of England’s most famous teams, and last weekend they beat their arch rivals Bristol 78-19. What filled me with pride wasn't just the scoreline - it was knowing they achieved it under a man focused not just on creating great players, but developing great men. That's what real leadership looks like.
When you've spent decades driving results, it's tempting to justify any means to an end. But here's what I've learned: leadership isn't just about what you achieve - it's about who you become in the process, and who you help others become along the way. Both in your role and in life.
For me, beyond the clickbait, the Jones’s saga is an opportunity for midlife men like us to reflect and grow. In particular, I’d encourage you to think about the following:
What cycles of behaviour or ‘default settings’ do you need to change?
What do you want your legacy to be?
How can you be a leader in life, not just in business?
I'd love to hear your thoughts and experiences on this. Leadership can be lonely, but it doesn't have to be. Drop me a line at jason@theprimemovement.com - let's continue this conversation.
The Prime Movement Program, developed in association with Dr Brendon Stubbs, one of the world’s leading neuroscientists, is launching in January 2025.
Lessons from the Trenches: Real life leadership challenges
Every week, I address real challenges faced by leaders like you. These insights come from both TPM readers and anonymized coaching experiences. Because when one of us faces a challenge, we can all learn from it.
CHALLENGE
I'm finding myself increasingly disconnected from my younger team members (mostly Gen Z and younger millennials). I've got 20+ years of experience leading teams, but lately it feels like we're speaking different languages. They seem to want constant feedback and validation, question every process, and have very different views on work-life boundaries. I want to be an effective leader for them without compromising my standards or experience in getting the right results. How do I bridge the gap?
MY TAKE
First, let me acknowledge something - this is one of those challenges that hits different because it can feel like a direct challenge to your identity as a leader. After all, you've grown and developed teams for decades, so why is it suddenly feeling so hard?
It’s a very natural response to feel threatened and/or perceive a level of disrespect at play (confession: I’ve been there). Apply this lens and you’re simply looking at a problem that needs fixing. But…
Your superpower here is curiosity. What’s behind that desire for feedback? Why are they placing such a strong value on wellbeing? Failing to be curious about the drivers behind these behaviours creates barriers, while seeking to understand creates bridges.
This isn’t about bending these team members to your will - the best leaders don't just manage the team they want, they adapt to lead the team they have. They are gardeners.
Your experience isn't diminished by evolving your approach; it's enhanced when you combine it with new perspectives.
Here are a couple of practical considerations to help guide the path forward:
1. Flip the script on feedback - instead of seeing it as wasting valuable time, use these touchpoints to mentor and shape. Play this right and you can forge bonds that will be like compound interest over time.
2. When they question processes, engage them in finding better solutions rather than defending the old way. Their fresh perspective combined with your experience can lead to real innovation.
To be clear, these situations can be complex and it’s perfectly valid to seek a level of accountability from the relevant team members - that’s why ‘contracting’ with them in terms of inputs and expectations is a critical part of the process.
I'll leave you with this thought - none of us got to leadership positions by doing things exactly like our predecessors did. We innovated, we challenged, we changed things. Your team is potentially showing the same spirit - they just express it differently.
If you’ve got a situation you want guidance on, message me at jason@theprimemovement.com.
Be A Prime Mover: Wisdom to inspire action
“If something has to end it is better to untie then to cut.”
Rishad Tobaccowala
MY TAKE
I'm breaking with convention here because in my humble opinion Rishad Tobaccowala is one of the greatest thought leaders of our era, and his wisdom has profoundly shaped my own journey. His full reflection on this quote is too valuable not to share:
"Sometimes we cause damage to ourselves and our relationships by making hasty decisions, or having litmus tests with which we judge an entire person based on a single opinion or act. In doing so we cut harshly, end abruptly, or shut down angrily.
When we cut both sides of the string or rope get frayed but when we untie things both sides remain intact.
And in the gradualness of the act we may find that we did not want to untie in the first place or we leave things in such a way that they can be retied in the future.
Sometimes repair means not creating situations that need repair."
In just over 100 words, he captures something profound about the challenges we face as midlife men. This is the period where relationships - professional, personal, romantic, and platonic - often start to fray. The pressure to make swift, decisive cuts can feel overwhelming. But perhaps true strength lies in having the patience to untie instead.
Your community, Your voice
I created The Prime Movement for you, so the more I can hear from you about what you want to see, hear and learn, the more I can shape this for you. The Prime Movement is a community created for you and your thoughts are the fuel that keeps us moving forward, so I can promise I will personally read and respond to any email you send me. Message me at jason@theprimemovement.com.
