The 'Weakness' That Transformed Me
A 6-minute investment to make you a better leader - In role. In life.
Hi, I’m Jason. I'm here to help you thrive mentally, physically, and emotionally through a powerful combination of science-based advice and coaching guidance.
Think of this as your weekly ‘cheat sheet’ to help you lead better and live better.
What’s coming up:
Prime Performance: This Week’s Best News, Views & Life-Hacks
The Prime Perspective: The 'Weakness' That Transformed Me
Lessons from the Arena: The Unspoken Leadership Contract
Be a Prime Mover: 1 Quote to Spark Change
Prime Performance: this week’s news, views and life hacks
🎞️ WATCH 45 Seconds On How To Win (It’s Not What You Think)
Author and Stoicist Ryan Holliday on how you win by knowing when not to win. This one really resonated with me, especially given the subject of this week’s Prime Perspective - you can’t be on your A-game 100% of the time, so you have to know when to dial it up. But just as importantly, when to dial it down.
📖 READ “I Saw My Father Cry” - 3 Ways To Navigate Change
I’m a long-time admirer of Jerry Colonna, CEO at Reboot.io, and in this short article he transforms a childhood memory of his father losing his 30-year career into a powerful message to leaders facing the human cost of technological change.
📻 LISTEN The 3 Keys To Becoming An Inspirational Leader
What does it take to really energize people and motivate them toward a goal? This Harvard Business Review Podcast reveals the answers in just 24 minutes. Adam Galinsky, professor at Columbia Business School, has deeply researched this across industries and geographies and reveals the 3 common traits. Essential listening.
The Prime Perspective: Thoughts on Leadership and Growth
The 'Weakness' That Transformed Me
I grew up in Bridgwater, Somerset - the type of small town in England that most people don't leave. Dad was a shift worker in the local factory who spent most of his spare time in the pub. Mum was a teacher. My two sisters still live there.
For a long time after I left I had a sense of imposter syndrome relating to my roots - that sense that people like me weren't supposed to have the roles I had or go to the places I went; that nagging sense of not being worthy.
I dealt with that by badging myself as that guy who would go 'harder, faster, longer' in order to prove I’d earned that seat at the table. I preached 'self-compassion' to others, while telling myself I was strong enough to handle anything. It was that mentality that took me to the brink of burn-out last year.
Let's get one thing straight from the get-go: self-compassion isn't about lowering standards or making excuses.
I'd long prided myself on resilience, and let’s be honest, as leaders there are definitely many times where we need to be that ‘rock’ for those around us. But I spent too long fundamentally misunderstanding what true resilience looks like. It isn't about endlessly absorbing pressure without complaint, it’s about positively adapting to adversity.
When you understand this, you start to see how self-compassion plays a critical role in leadership and in life generally.
My breakthrough came when I encountered Dr. Kristin Neff's pioneering research on self-compassion. Her work systematically debunks the myths that keep many leaders trapped in cycles of self-criticism. As I explored her findings, I realized I had inadvertently fallen for several of these myths:
The Myth: Self-compassion is a form of self-pity
The Reality: Self-compassion actually reduces rumination and helps us move forward after setbacks rather than wallowing in them.The Myth: Self-compassion means weakness
The Reality: Far from it - research shows self-compassion is one of our most powerful sources of resilience during life's challenges.The Myth: Self-compassion will make you complacent
The Reality: Studies reveal that self-compassionate people take more personal responsibility for their actions and show greater motivation to improve.The Myth: Self-compassion is narcissistic
The Reality: Unlike self-esteem which requires feeling better than others, self-compassion recognizes our shared humanity and imperfections.The Myth: Self-compassion is selfish
The Reality: Research demonstrates that self-compassionate people are actually more caring, supportive partners, with more emotional resources available for others.
Breaking The Self-Criticism Cycle
We often believe that pushing ourselves harder is the path to success. I certainly did. But I finally learned a fundamental truth: constantly trying to prove my worth was actually undermining my effectiveness as a leader.
Think of ourselves like elastic bands - we have an incredible capacity to stretch and absorb pressure. We tell ourselves we can cope, despite sensing an increasing tension. For years, I maintained this narrative, especially in my role as a global COO working with brands like Apple and Google, as on paper, it was everything I'd ever aspired to achieve.
But here's the reality: when we're caught in patterns of overwork and self-criticism, our emotional resources become depleted. So, in my case, when internal red flags started appearing, I doubled down on my old script: "A boy from Bridgwater isn't meant to get to this type of position, so stop feeling sorry for yourself and suck it up."
With the benefit of hindsight, I was dangerously close to snapping. And it was self-compassion that ultimately gave me the strength to walk away and break that toxic cycle.
Crucially, embracing self-compassion doesn't mean lowering your standards. It's about creating a supportive inner relationship that helps you navigate challenges with greater emotional balance. In reality, it's simply about helping you lead better and live better.
Ready to explore this further? Message me at jason@theprimemovement.com
THE PRIME PERFORMANCE PROGRAM
Building Better Leaders. In Role. In Life.
Lessons from the Arena: Real Life Leadership Challenges
Every week, I'll share real challenges from coaching experiences, offering practical insights you can apply to your own leadership journey.
CHALLENGE:
"I'm leading a team at a leading financial institution and I'm increasingly frustrated by them. I expect high performance and the nature of my role means I have to go the extra mile, whatever form that takes. However, I’ve explicitly told my team that I value output over hours not to respond to emails over the weekend etc. But despite this, the team continues to work long hours and some show signs of burnout. It feels like they're ignoring my guidance and I'm worried this will all reflect badly on me."
MY GUIDANCE:
This situation reveals the unspoken leadership contract in action: your behaviors, not your directives, shape your team's choices.
When I explored this situation further with the coachee, a revealing pattern emerged. While she was explicitly encouraging balance and sustainable performance, her own behaviors were sending the opposite message:
She regularly sent emails late in the evening (even though she didn't expect immediate responses)
Despite talking about recovery, she rarely took vacation days
She would mention working through weekends in passing conversations
She frequently skipped lunch to handle "just one more thing" and so on.
Here's why this matters: As a leader, you possess what psychologists call "attention magnetism". Your actions carry disproportionate weight in shaping your team's understanding of what's truly valued in your culture. When your words and actions don't align, your team will almost always follow your actions.
Four steps to create genuine alignment:
Audit your own behavior patterns
Document your work patterns for two weeks with brutal honesty. Note when you send emails, when you take breaks, how you talk about your own workload etc. Actively seek out disconnects between what you say and what you demonstrate.Make your positive behaviour visible
Be explicit about your boundaries: "I'm taking a full lunch break to recharge" or "I'm logging off at 6pm to spend time with family” etc. Not only will your team respect you for this, it’ll give them permission to do the same.Establish team recovery protocols
Create formal recovery mechanisms that you visibly participate in, such as mandatory vacation usage or a team break. The key here is behaviour that can be applied consistently rather than one-off ‘gimmicks’ that aren’t sustainable in certain working environments.Celebrate the right behaviours
Publicly recognize team members who model healthy boundaries and make it clear that sustainability is part of your definition of high performance.
Ready to take your leadership to the next level? Book a call by messaging me at jason@theprimemovement.com.
Be A Prime Mover: 1 Quote to Spark Change
“Self-compassion is simply giving the same kindness to ourselves that we would give to others. We stop to tell a friend that they are wrong for the way they are feeling or thinking. We empathize. We listen. Yet we berate ourselves for having completely valid feelings.”
— Christopher Germer
Send this to a fellow leader - they'll thank you for it.
