Why Quitting in Midlife Can Damage Your Brain... Plus:

Written By Jason Leavy

Your 6-minute investment to get 1% better at life each week

If you are a midlife man in a leadership role, I’ve created The Prime Movement for you. As a coach and former global C-suite executive, I understand the unique challenges you face. In a world where your struggles can feel unnoticed, I see you. I get it, because I’ve lived it.

The Prime Movement is a community for those of us who aren’t ready to ‘quiet quit’ life. This is for those of us who believe in the power of progress - mentally, physically and spiritually.

It’s for those who not only dare to know.
It’s for those who dare to grow. 

What’s coming up:

Prime Performance - This week’s best news, views & life-hacks
The Prime Perspective - Stop getting punched in the face - AKA why you may have the wrong idea about resilience
Lessons from the Trenches - The Dangers of the Fake Finish Line
Be a Prime Mover - Wisdom to inspire action

LEARN
Recent study shows that ‘quiet quitting’ can hurt your brain

OK, so you are going to be hearing a LOT from me on the subject of ‘quiet quitting’. My take is that it’s one of the biggest lurking dangers facing midlife male leaders and a study that was recently published in the Journal of Neurology Neurosurgery & Psychiatry gives substance to this belief. In simple terms, you could be increasing your risk of dementia if you’ve slipped into that mindset of lacking purpose or feeling you’ve done it all in life. You can read more about it in this CNN article here, but the big takeaway is that if you’ve lost direction and are wandering aimlessly, you’re running the risk of hurting your brain, so it’s time to take action.

WATCH
5 Productivity Principles (That actually work) 

Oh no, I hear you cry, not yet another take on the subject of productivity… bear with me! Mark Manson is the best-selling author of The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fk, ’s and in keeping with his no-bull approach, his new video on 5 productivity principles contains more knowledge bombs in its short running time than countless books on the same subject. It’s honest, it’s humorous and to use similar language to Manson himself, it cuts through the cr*p.  In summary, the most productive use of 11 minutes of your time this week (10 if you skip the 1-minute advertorial at the 5-minute mark!). 

READ
Why You Should Always Try To Do It The Hard Way

I’m looking forward to seeing Ryan Holiday in London next month, but in the interim I’m getting a lot from his recent blog post. The author of essential reads like The Obstacle Is The Way and The Ego Is The Enemy, explains why blazing a new trail rather than going over old ground is the way to go. His point is that if it’s easy, you’re not growing. 

Stop taking pride in getting punched in the head AKA why you may have the wrong idea about resilience

Mike Tyson famously said “everyone has a plan until they get punched in the face,” and while that quote hits hard when it comes to highlighting that brutal intersection where best laid plans can sometimes get KO’ed by reality, there’s also another actuality that often gets overlooked.

Yep, what I’m talking about here about are false notions of resilience. In a world where going harder, faster and longer are worn like badges of honour, there are far too many of you just shipping damage as if that’s a good thing.

I know because I was that guy - 8am calls with Singapore? Bring it on. 10pm calls with Los Angeles? I’ve got you. You want me to jump on a plane to Indonesia? I’m there. The lie I told myself was that this was me at my best - that guy who will always do whatever it takes to go the proverbial extra mile. I was wrong.

Imagine you in role are a boxer. Which one do you want to be? The slick technician who is bobbing and weaving, while scoring points with precise punching, or the one pinned on the ropes taking shots and soaking up punishment?

Here’s the reality check - we’ve all been on those ropes at some point there’s no shame in that. But some of you are doing what I did and trying to justify staying there, whether that’s to yourself or those around you. You need to understand one critical thing that took me a long time to grasp - resilience only counts when it is exists within the context of positive progress. A winning boxer still absorbs some punishment, that’s the reality of being in the ring, right? However, it’s a price worth paying for winning the fight, especially if you’re learning and growing from the experience.

By contrast there is no glory in being a punchbag. There is no win in staying on the ropes. Only damage. And at some point the simple fact is you won’t be able to take it any more.

In your career and life you are always going to face obstacles. Overcoming them is what matters. Your resilience can be a great power, but only if you use it wisely. The smarter fighter always wins. If you’re currently on the ropes, don’t stay there, telling yourself you can take the punishment, reframe things and devote that same energy to finding a way to get off them and turn the fight around. That’s the only thing that matters.

The Prime Movement Program, developed in association with Dr Brendon Stubbs, one of the world’s leading neuroscientists, is launching in January 2025.

The Dangers Of The Fake Finish Line

Every week, I address real challenges faced by leaders like you. These insights come from both TPM readers and anonymized coaching experiences. Because when one of us faces a challenge, we can all learn from it.

CHALLENGE:
I’ve just moved into a new senior executive role at my firm and even though it’s the ‘dream job’ I’ve been working towards since I joined about 4 years ago, the reality is that I’m not enjoying it that much. I’m not sure what I’m expecting, but it just feels like more of the same, except with more pressure and higher expectations. I’m really thinking I’ve made the wrong move and I’m not sure what to do.

MY TAKE:
Firstly, you’re not alone, this situation is far more common than you think, so common in fact, that there’s a name for it - the ‘arrival fallacy’. This is basically the false belief that achieving your particular big goal will see you reach a place of lasting happiness.  

I fell into this psychological trap during my own corporate career - continually creating artificial ‘finish lines’, only to feel a sense of ‘Is this it?’ once I got there. In short, I was focused too much on the destination, instead of the journey. But there are ways you can get out of the trap:

👉 Go to the source - why are you not enjoying the role, is it solely because you expected to feel a constant state of happiness and achievement once you assumed it, or are there other factors at play here? Self-awareness is critical (and/or support from a coach), as it’s important to dig below that initial gut reaction to understand what is really going on - is it a feeling of unmet expectations or is it the increasing demands you’re finding yourself placed under?

👉 Shift from outcome to process - Do this and there is the potential to reframe the new role - what are the opportunities to learn and grow that you are being presented with? With this new platform, what ‘license’ do you have to explore that you didn’t have in the previous role? Remember that feeling uncomfortable or experiencing doubt in role at this stage is not a bad thing, it could simply be a signal that you are on a growth trajectory.

👉 Be a driver, not a passenger -  If you accept the right ‘route’ is focusing on the present rather than an idealized version of the future, this creates a space to think about those factors within your control that you can positively influence to affect your sense of fulfilment - you acknowledge the ‘more of the same’ feeling, so turn that into a positive. View your experience to date as data points and extract insights from them: what things do you enjoy doing most? What are energy drainers that you can delegate? Etc.

If you’ve got a situation you want guidance on, message me at jason@theprimemovement.com.

1-on-1 coaching with TPM Founder Jason Leavy, under his Guide not Guru integrated coaching brand. Dare to Know, Dare to Grow. 👇

Help a Brother Out: Send this to a friend

The Prime Movement has been created for midlife men like us. Those who are in the arena of life, fighting and struggling to do their best. So if you have a friend who you think will benefit from becoming part of The Prime Movement community, please forward it on so they can sign up. We are stronger together.

“Health and salvation can be found only in motion” ​​

Soren Kierkegaard 

MY TAKE:

It may at first glance seem like a statement of the obvious about the benefits of exercise, but go beyond that and you’ll see it’s relevant to a current reality, particularly in midlife, where men stop moving forward and instead opt to ‘circle the wagons’ - as soon as you stop playing to win, you’re dangerously close to guaranteeing you’ll lose. 

Motion isn’t just physical, it’s mental - you have to remain focused on making positive progress, whatever form that takes. Think about what that looks like for you.

Your community, Your voice

I created The Prime Movement for you, so the more I can hear from you about what you want to see, hear and learn, the more I can shape this for you. The Prime Movement is a community created for you and your thoughts are the fuel that keeps us moving forward, so I can promise I will personally read and respond to any email you send me. Message me at jason@theprimemovement.com.

Jason Leavy
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