Victor or Victim? The Midlife Man in the Arena
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Hi, I’m Jason. If you are a midlife man in a leadership role, I’ve created The Prime Movement for you. It’s a community for those of us who believe in the power of progress - in leadership and in life. Dare to know. Dare to grow.
What’s coming up:
Prime Performance: This Week’s Best News, Views & Life-Hacks
The Prime Perspective: Victor or Victim? The Midlife Man in the Arena
Lessons from the Trenches: The CEO Worried about Workouts
Be a Prime Mover: 1 Quote to Spark Change
Prime Performance: this week’s news, views and life hacks
READ Groundbreaking New Research Reveals The Real Key To Breaking Bad Habits
Major new research has cracked the code on habit formation - and it's a game-changer for midlife men looking to transform their routines. The research found that success in changing habits isn't about willpower alone - it's about understanding and leveraging two competing brain systems.
This has major implications for everything from establishing better health routines to breaking unproductive leadership behaviors. Research leader Eike Buabang explains: “Our research provides a new ‘playbook’ for behaviour change by connecting brain science with practical, real-world applications.”
LISTEN Master Your Sleep - An Essential Guide
This year I’ve made big advances in terms of improving my training and nutrition, but sleep is somewhere I'm still coming up short in all honesty. So the timing of this Huberman Lab Essential couldn’t be any better - I’m digging this new ‘best of’ 30-minute format, and in this latest episode, the famous neuroscientist covers what makes us sleepy, helps us sleep soundly, and feel awake and alert. There are also a range of practical tools covered, with the science and reasoning behind each tool explained.
WATCH The Real Question You Need To Ask Yourself About Work-life Balance
I started writing a proper summary here, but then tore the script up - all you need to know is that this podcast featuring Bill Perkins, author of Die With Zero, in conversation with Dr Peter Attia, is possibly my favourite ever podcast. Bill drops an insane number of knowledge bombs everywhere on the balance between health, wealth and time, If you’re time poor, then at the very least jump to the 54-minute mark and find out the big question you should be asking yourself about work-life balance...
The Prime Perspective: Personal reflections on leadership and growth
Victor or Victim? The Midlife Man in the Arena
*It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood..."
Confession: Theodore Roosevelt's 1910 address at the Sorbonne in Paris is my favourite speech of all time.
More than 100 years on, the words still carry incredible resonance because they speak to eternal truths about courage, resilience, and the price of daring greatly. But there are two critical lessons within this text that I believe every midlife male leader needs to grasp – and one of them isn't what you might think.
The Arena Leaves Its Mark
Let's be honest – by the time we reach midlife leadership, we’ve all accumulated our share of battle scars. Failed ventures. Broken relationships. Career setbacks. The wounds of a thousand battles, large and small, mental and physical.
In your younger days, bouncing back was easier. You were the ‘young lion’ in leadership – all optimism, energy, and blissful ignorance. The only way was up, and temporary setbacks were just that – temporary.
But now? Those scars can start to weigh heavy. And here's where Roosevelt's speech illuminates our first crucial lesson: the choice between being the victor or the victim.
Lesson One: Reject the Victim Narrative
The uncomfortable truth is that midlife can become a convenient excuse for retreating from challenges. It's seductively easy to tell ourselves stories about how life’s unfair and the deck is stacked against you these days.
But here's what I've learned from not only being in the arena myself, but from working with a wide range of midlife leaders: those who thrive aren't the ones with fewer scars – they're the ones who've learned to wear them as badges of honor rather than badges of victimhood.
They don’t see those scars as making them weaker, worn down and vulnerable, they see them as the physical proof of the ‘lessons’ that have made them who they are now - wiser, stronger, more resilient.
Let me be clear, this isn’t me preaching a naive optimism or denying there are real challenges facing us, this is about me saying you can choose who you want to be and how you want to respond to these challenges - don’t be that guy who says "Why does this happen to me?”
Lesson Two: The Danger of Becoming a Spectator
The second lesson from Roosevelt's speech is subtler but equally crucial: the danger of transitioning from doer to critic, from participant to spectator.
It's a particular temptation in midlife leadership. After all, we've "earned our stripes," right? We've "done the hard nine yards." Surely we've earned the right to step out of the arena and critique others' efforts?
This is perhaps the most insidious trap of all – because it feels justified. It feels like wisdom. But it's actually the beginning of irrelevance.
The Path Forward
“...who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”
Roosevelt’s words tell you how you should navigate the challenges of midlife leadership:
Own Your Scars - Reflect on what they’ve taught you, no matter how harsh the lesson.
Stay in the Fight - Seek out new challenges that stretch you and embrace discomfort as a signal of growth
Maintain Forward Momentum - Keep investing in your physical and mental capabilities and development
Lead by Example - Focus on contribution over criticism
The Bottom Line
I read a fantastic article over the weekend by the prominent psychologist and author Jamil Zaki, on the nature of hope and this line in particular struck a chord: “It acknowledges that we have no idea how the future will unfold—and in that uncertainty, our actions still matter.”
The arena may have changed and so have you, but the fight is far from over. So make your actions count.
Ready to step back into the arena with purpose? Let's talk about how the TPM Program can help. Dare to know. Dare to grow.
Lessons from the Trenches: Real life leadership challenges
Every week, I address real challenges faced by leaders like you. These insights come from both TPM readers and anonymized coaching experiences. Because when one of us faces a challenge, we can all learn from it.
CHALLENGE:
I'm a 52-year-old entrepreneur and my company is doing really well, but I've completely neglected my physical health over the last decade that I've been building it up. I'm carrying an extra 30 pounds and my energy levels are shot, so I know I need to do something about it, but I feel embarrassed at the thought of even walking into a gym. I've followed some fitness influencers online, but to be honest that's just left me feeling even more confused and I don't know who or what to believe. The bottom line is that I don't even know where to start right now."
MY TAKE:
Trust me, I know how common this challenge is among midlife leaders. The biggest problem with the fitness industry is that in the era of social media it’s become the entertainment industry - PTs and influencers are frequently new fads that aren’t grounded in science, and midlife leaders who are left ‘blinded’ by this blizzard of ‘advice’ and don’t know where to start.
However, this is where The Prime Movement’s Chief Advisor, Dr Brendon Stubbs, comes in:
“As someone ranked among the top 3 exercise researchers globally, I'll share something personal: in my 40s, despite my expertise, I found myself out of shape and struggling. So I deeply understand your situation, and here's what I've learned, both personally and professionally:
📋 MY GUIDANCE:
Forget the influencers - their content is entertainment, not evidence-based guidance.
Approach this like any successful business strategy: start small, build momentum, and scale what works.
The key isn't finding the "perfect" workout; it's finding sustainable movement that fits your lifestyle. For executives like yourself, this might mean walking to meetings, playing padel with business partners, or family activities that double as movement opportunities. These familiar contexts can feel far more comfortable than a gym full of strangers.
Just as you wouldn't expect a new product launch to be perfect on day one, your fitness journey needs an iterative approach. Start with activities you enjoy and where you feel confident. Once you build momentum with these "small wins," you can gradually explore other options - which may or may not include the gym.
Remember: focus on consistent behaviors rather than dramatic transformations. Like in business, sustainable progress comes from systems and habits, not quick fixes. The physical changes will naturally follow when you build the right foundation.
The perfect plan you never start is infinitely worse than the imperfect plan you begin today. Where would you like to start? What movement opportunities already exist in your daily routine that we could optimize?
If you're ready to take the first step but want guidance on building your personal roadmap to vitality, let's talk. The Prime Movement Program is designed specifically for midlife leaders like you who want to thrive, not just survive.
Be A Prime Mover: Wisdom to inspire action
“Physical fitness is not only one of the most important keys to a healthy body, it is the basis of dynamic and creative intellectual activity.”
John F. Kennedy, 1960
MY TAKE:
When Kennedy wrote these words more than 60 years ago, he wasn't just making a case for physical fitness - he was highlighting a fundamental truth that many midlife leaders today have forgotten: our physical and mental capabilities are inextricably linked.
What strikes me about this quote is its relevance to our modern leadership challenges. Kennedy wrote this at age 43, as he was preparing to take on the most intellectually demanding role in the world. He understood something that neuroscience has since proven: physical vitality directly impacts cognitive performance.
The research backing this connection is compelling. The work of TPM’s Chief Advisor, Dr Brendon Stubbs, shows that regular physical activity improves executive function by up to 30% and creative problem-solving by 25%. When Kennedy spoke of "dynamic and creative intellectual activity”, he was identifying what science now confirms - that our physical condition creates the foundation for our mental performance.
For us as midlife leaders, this isn't just about health - it's about optimisation and showing up at our best. In an era where cognitive demands are greater than ever, where we're required to be increasingly creative and adaptable, our physical condition isn't a separate consideration from our professional performance - it's a prerequisite for it.
Your challenge this week: Reframe how you think about physical activity. It's not just about looking better or living longer - it's about creating the physiological conditions for peak performance. When you're deciding whether to make time for that workout, remember: you're not just investing in your body, you're investing in your intellectual capacity.
If you’re serious about hitting your prime, join the waitlist for the TPM Program.
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Your thoughts are the fuel that keeps us moving forward, so message me at jason@theprimemovement.com.
